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Moon, Light and Shadow

ART, POETRY, LOVE – THE MAGIC OF JOURNEYS

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Faith

Caribbean Creative Writers Workshop

In February of this year I received an email indicating that I was one of ten authors chosen to participate in Cropper Foundation’s Creative Writers Workshop in June. I was alone at home when the email came in and the feelings were completely unexpected. I felt like it was not really happening, and actually imagined that no one else had submitted poetry and so I was chosen to make up a quota. I had applied on a whim submitting six poems to compete with other Caribbean writers, never really believing that what I wrote could be seen as poetry.

I had never entered a writing competition before and had only shared my poems with one friend and anonymously on my blog. In fact, I’d never referred to them as poems and called them Scribbles instead. So, receiving that email and subsequently sending my acceptance letter was a pretty surreal experience. I felt like I was someone else, like a little kid about to steal cookies from the cookie jar, with the anticipation of something delicious and thrilling, and the fear of being caught where I wasn’t supposed to be. Was this really meant for me?

The workshop, sponsored by the Cropper Foundation, and organised in partnership with the Department of Creative and Festival Arts at The University of the West Indies (UWI), took place from June 29th to July 13th in the quiet seaside town of Balandra on the north-eastern coast of Trinidad. Over sixty applicants from across the Caribbean submitted fiction, non-fiction and poetry for a chance to spend two weeks with two incredible moderators,  novelist Dr. Merle Hodge (Crick, Crack Monkey and For the Life of Laetitia), and poet and short story writer Professor Funso Aiyejina, winner of the 2000 Commonwealth Writers Prize (Africa) for The Legend of the Rockhills and Other Stories.

I had no idea what was in store. A friend of mine had been a participant in 2008 and when sought she offered the best advice: Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.

I never imagined that my life would be forever changed.

Colours In Your Mind

“If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one,
you may see at times
a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours
suspended in the darkness;
then if you squeeze your eyes tighter,
the pool begins to take shape,
and the colours become so vivid
that with another squeeze
they must go on fire.” 

Soul Mate

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Continue reading “Soul Mate”

Writing Out Loud

“Transition can be a pretty scary place, as any change brings a degree of uncertainty. It’s like being on a jetty about to step onto a boat for the first time. There is always a brief moment of hesitation, when you are aware that you’re leaving the familiar for the unknown. It is as thrilling as it is unnerving.”


http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/allowing-it-all-my-grand-battle

I’m writing out loud this year and freelancing for a few online journals. Here is the first article for this year, published on Elephant Journal. Hope you all enjoy it. 

Here’s to love and light in 2014.

Luna

Phoenix Day

Full Moon Yoga on The North Deck

The last Full Moon was on the 27th of March and I accepted an invitation to be a part of a Full Moon Yoga Session up at The North Deck, a cantilevered observation platform which extends out from a ridge high over our rain forest. This amazing tree canopy eventually makes its way down to the sea and the famous North Coast of Trinidad.

It was my first time up at The North Deck, and despite that fact that the yoga session took place at night and the Caribbean Sea was not visible below, it was magical being up there. I’ve always felt affected by the Moon…it’s simple logic to me really: I’m made up of 70% water, so why wouldn’t the Moon have some sort of effect on me as it has on every body of water on the planet? (Unfortunately, a few days before the Full Moon I’m unusually temperamental, but that’s a story for another day.)

“The Moon is believed to represent our intuition, mind, emotions, creativity, sensitivity, and the great feminine power. The Full Moon brings closure, death (to a situation or feeling), change, rebirth, and manifestation. It is a time where we can reflect on those things that no longer serve and give ourselves honor and nourishment in releasing them. The Moon corresponds to the element water and invites us to remember our connection to the oceans held within earth, as well as the oceans of water contained within our own bodies. Water invites movement, flow, a breaking through of built up physical, energetic, and emotional resistance. Water is the element that soothes and calms through steady, cool dissolve.” 
It is believed the Full Moon day can bring spiritual clarity and inspiration from the Divine. The gates to true knowledge are opened within our hearts and we have the greatest opportunity to achieve peace and absolute freedom. I was especially hoping for this to be true that night as I really needed some clarity after a doozy of a weekend. 
I had done some research about the power of this Full Moon and was ready to release what no longer served me and was weighing me down, to take responsibility for what had happened in my life and what was happening (good and bad), and to review and rejuvenate my relationship with myself and with others. The full moon is a time of illumination and I was ready to draw upon the clarity that comes from introspection even if uncomfortable truths were revealed. I was going to let them be a catalyst for change.
The Yoga was Vinyasa Flow, a version I had never tried before and I hadn’t actually practiced my Yoga in almost seven months. I was a bit concerned that I would not hold my own but it was amazing: my body just took over and fell right into it. After an hour or so, we were all lying on our mats resting and letting the energies do their work so I started reviewing what I had planned. As I stared at the Moon through the canopy of branches and leaves above me, I let go of hurt, anger, doubt, fear, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness. Then I invited love, faith, hope, and clarity into my life. The wind started to blow as I watched the branches above me dance and then all of a sudden I felt the wind on my face and leaves falling on and around me. I reflexively clutched the large leaf that landed on my tummy, as my tears flowed. It was an amazing experience. One I hope to carry with me to the next Full Moon.

More about my life with Yoga can be found here.

Sources:

I Am The Story In Between The Lines

I am the story in between the lines
old journals and snapshots
decades of words and images
poetry and imagination
strung together by feeling and circumstance
inked in joy and pain
emblazoned on a page for all time.

“I want to live in between the lines, where the depth is.”

I Only Wish You Love

There you go again,
chasing down that road.
I’ve held your hand
and watched you do this,
time and time before.
Now this time has come,
and you can walk alone.
I won’t right you when you stumble
Nor catch you when you fall.
I won’t kiss or hug away the hurt
from bumps or bruises.
This time, on my own and from afar,
 I’ll celebrate your joys
and mourn for you your losses.
Fare thee well, my friend,
as every time before,
I only wish you love.

What’s In A Year?

 

December 31st, a day for setting resolutions and goals, is fast approaching and I’m overflowing with blog post ideas: December 21st and the ‘end of the world as we know it’; A possible explanation for my missing Farewell to 2011 post; My 2012 Wrap Up; What 2013 means to me; and many more. But right now, more than anything, I find myself ready for some peace of mind. If there is one thing I’ve done a lot of this year is THINK. I’ve analyzed EVERYTHING: the past, the present, the future, my behaviour, the behaviour of others, and supposed meanings in everything around me. It’s time for some quiet. So, I’m covering everything today. All these thoughts running rampant in my brain are coming out now. So, on with the show!
December 21st and the ‘end of the world as we know it’
Last week, on the drive to the airport it was the hot topic. To me, the big change is the shift in collective consciousness. Of course this is a shift that has been happening for decades and it will continue to shift for a few more decades. This year simply marked an acceleration. For the first time in the history of humanity as we know it there is a global network unlike any other. Almost 35% of the people on the planet have Internet access. Almost 85% of the global population is literate. Information is shared in a way it never has been before, through the Internet, television, radio and print media. And, even though much of this ‘information’ is insubstantial and as far as I see it, rubbish, I cannot deny that I’ve seen people who are trying. I see those who are making a difference in the world by helping others, by teaching, and by doing their part to make the world a better place. Those are the ones who give me hope. That is the collective shift that I am talking about. I see more and more like minded people making connections and working together for common goals. It’s exciting and encouraging.
My missing ‘Farewell to 2011’ post
By December 2011 I’d been going to a psychotherapist for a little over a month. After an unnerving end to an unhealthy relationship I realized that I was at a point where I had to figure out how I’d reached a point in my life where I felt it was acceptable for me to deem myself unworthy of, well, more. When the time came to write my end of year post, all I would do was re-read my end of 2010 post and wonder where I went. A friend told me that I had already accomplished so much, just by standing up for myself and having the courage to try to understand my life and to change it. He was right, but at the time, I felt broken and unsure and quite frankly, terrified. I didn’t know whether or not I could do it. Changing a core belief from a negative one to a positive one after almost three decades of reinforcement seemed an insurmountable task. Looking back on it now, I would say that if there was anything at all I accomplished for 2011, it was that I took a hold of myself. I made ME my first priority and I knew for sure that no matter what was revealed to me and where my journey led, I wasn’t going to quit.
2012 Wrap Up
It’s fitting that this would be called a Wrap Up. Like they say in the film industry: “That’s a wrap!” It’s been one helluva year. A few weeks before my birthday in November I was talking to a friend and I said to him that I was as much as 90% happy with my life. I am surrounded by people who I genuinely care for and am genuinely cared for: a loving family and friends I respect and have so much fun with. I can afford to pay my bills and have enough to enjoy going out for dinner or meeting friends to share a bottle or two of wine. I made a commitment to myself to leave an unsatisfying job no matter what, and I reaffirmed my choice to make Luna Surya Studios a place for creativity and healing. I learned to love and respect myself in a way I never have before. I’ve come to an understanding about my history and I see all the potential that it has. I’ve learned to love all the shadowy corners of me and embrace all the light in me. I am truly grateful for my life and for all my gifts. At the very beginning of 2012 I remember saying that this was a year for change. This was to be a year to understand what was not healthy for me and to learn to let go. It was a year for improvement. It has been, with all the remarkable, painful, surprising and incredible lessons that such change brings with it. This has been, truly, an amazing year, and I am humbled with gratitude for having had it.
What 2013 means to me:
So here I am on the threshold of a new year and for once it really does feel like an ending and a beginning. I know that change will continue, as it is in life’s nature to do so. I’m OK with that. I am stronger than I’ve ever been I think and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think of POSSIBILITIES. My world is open. My future is open. 2012 was a year of soul searching, learning, lessons and revelations. I think for now, I can say that for 2013 my goal is to Be Present. I am grateful for the past, it is my teacher, and I look forward to the future, it is my destiny. But today, I’ll make another promise to myself: I’m going to enjoy my present. I’m going to spend time with those I love, enjoying the things that make me happy: books, food, laughing, flowers, body scrubs, being healthy, art, music, writing, photography, nature walks, and my Studio. I’m going to have fun, go crazy and embrace life in a way I haven’t before. I’m going to BE PRESENT. I’ve earned it.

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