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Moon, Light and Shadow

ART, POETRY, LOVE – THE MAGIC OF JOURNEYS

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Connections

Unexpected Gifts

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In February of this year I created Write Club to bring together other creatives with a passion for writing. It was also meant to be a space for me to prepare for an upcoming writers workshop that I’d qualified for. 10 months later I am overwhelmed whenever I think about how much Write Club has exceeded my expectations. It is truly a space for creative growth with a fantastic energy which would not have been possible without the people who decided to join. They have made Write Club what it is. Last week we all met at V&J’s to celebrate the end of our first Focused Project Segment, (and which very well might’ve been our first annual Write Club Lime), and my super awesome club members presented me with an unexpected and beautiful gift.
Continue reading “Unexpected Gifts”

Breaking Up With Loved Ones

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“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.” — Daniell Koepke

For all love relationships, with significant others, friends and family, this works both ways. If you are anything like me, you have probably dished out your fair share of drama, confusion and pain to friends and loved ones. It is perfectly all right for those you have hurt to let YOU go as well. Continue reading “Breaking Up With Loved Ones”

A Sub-par Reality?

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Journal entry: 18th July 2014

I have to say, it has been less than a week since I came back from the most meaningful two weeks of my life and I am having some difficulty settling back in. I’ve always understood that there is a HUGE difference between doing what I want to do and doing what I have to do but I’ve never felt the difference this acutely before.

Adjustments and change have always been a bit tricky for me to navigate and I’m aware that it’s not ok to crawl into bed at 7pm just so I won’t be alone with my thoughts. I wake up early as usual, all excited about my day and raring to go at 4am. Then I remember that I have to spend most of my day in an un-fulfilling role, and I hide under the covers until I absolutely have to drag myself out of bed.

Those two weeks felt more real to me than this reality. While I understand that it will always feel more rewarding and fulfilling doing what I want to do instead if what I have to do, the experience was so much more than that.  I remember, on our last day, as we were having breakfast together for the last time, most of us were thoughtful and a bit sad. We all already knew that our lives were forever changed by this experience.

As we talked about what we each be doing the next day I had shrugged and said “Oh well, back to the real world.” Then immediately realized how incorrect that statement was. My life, my world before the Creative Retreat, now seems like the false one. My life has changed in ways I never would have dreamed and my reality before those two weeks  seems unreal to me now. 

Today 20th September:

I am still having dreams about writing, being around our workshop table and having excerpts to read. In the dreams I hear Professor Funso’s voice: “You must think about what it is you are trying to say.” Then ‘Aunty’ Merle says “But what you really mean by that?”

I wake up with words I have to write down which I quickly forget when thoughts of the office weasel their way in. But I am writing every day.

This was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Not just because of what I learned about writing but also because of the incredible people I met. I will never forget how it felt to meet and spend time with people who share this singular passion. We were all storytellers and it was an honour to have met so many brave, talented, interesting, warm and inspiring people.

Those two weeks have left an imprint on me. In so many ways. Since then I have added more value to my life by including more creative and purposeful endeavours.

Here’s to changing my life degree by degree.

Colours In Your Mind

“If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one,
you may see at times
a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours
suspended in the darkness;
then if you squeeze your eyes tighter,
the pool begins to take shape,
and the colours become so vivid
that with another squeeze
they must go on fire.” 

Luna on Upful

Upful Journal is an independent online journal with the vision of uniting Trinidad and Tobago as a community based on a mindful, positive, compassionate attitude and way of living. I am proud to say that I am a part of the Upful Team, contributing in my own way. Here are my articles (and one recipe) which were published over the last few months.
“Our mission is to act as a resource that presents ideas and information that trigger conscious thought and growth among readers, thus exciting a ripple effect of personal, environmental and social change.
We believe that change must begin within each individual and that it can be as simple as shifting an attitude and an action to be better aligned with a mindful way of life.
From this belief we are determined to be a relatable resource, much like a friend, to our readers. We want to share all of the wisdom and insights of mindfulness and higher conscious thought in a way that is accessible and non-intimidating to our average reader.
By planting small seeds of awareness within their consciousness we hope to inspire them to think, and to be intrigued to learn more and live a happier more fulfilling life.”
Read more about Upful Journal here: http://www.upfuljournal.com/about/
 
If you would like to write for Upful read here: http://www.upfuljournal.com/write/

Love, Sex and Dancing

The way lines blurred
and your edges dissolved
as you reached deeper
 into my shadowed soul,
creating light with me.
(Luna)

 

“Life is best experienced through relationships but if you don’t have a strong relationship with yourself, a clear understanding of where you end and others begin, you can’t let anyone else in. They might move the furniture around or add something. They might take something away. You will be forever appeasing another, feeling the need to control another or just plain block their entry if you don’t know yourself as an individual. The key is to hang on to who you know yourself to be while you learn to cross the space between you and another.

Our sexuality gives us the opportunity to be seen and known by another. When that someone is quite different from us, contrast is thrilling. I am most aware of my feminine nature when I am with a man acting out of his masculinity. The dance of offering and receiving is amazing. The stark contrast creates so much clarity and energy. Life becomes fuller through interdependence with someone who thinks differently, is built differently and has a whole other skill-set.

When I allow him to hold my heart in his hands—my metaphoric life, my joy, my thrill—it is a great act of trust. I do this because I trust my intuition. I trust that pull towards what feels right to me. I count on my senses, feel his energy and am curious about and excited by the lust I inspire in him, and even more enthralled by his control, his mastery over his animal self, for me.

When he places the value of me over his quick satisfaction, I see it and I receive the gift. His offer of a gesture of protection, the strength of his self-discipline and his desire to provide me with what I need builds a connection between us. I trust him and open myself to him, becoming completely vulnerable, wanting to try new things, willing to go to new places, because he is there providing the container that keeps me ultimately safe. By receiving him I expand from my world to our world.

Through this dance I believe I see all that he is, have the capacity to mirror his soul back to him and receive all that I am to him. I hold this intuitive knowing all through my day.

This is the journey to cross the boundary between you and another, the journey to form a true partnership.”

Excerpt written by Kim Hudson, read the complete article here.

Phoenix Day

I Only Wish You Love

There you go again,
chasing down that road.
I’ve held your hand
and watched you do this,
time and time before.
Now this time has come,
and you can walk alone.
I won’t right you when you stumble
Nor catch you when you fall.
I won’t kiss or hug away the hurt
from bumps or bruises.
This time, on my own and from afar,
 I’ll celebrate your joys
and mourn for you your losses.
Fare thee well, my friend,
as every time before,
I only wish you love.

What’s In A Year?

 

December 31st, a day for setting resolutions and goals, is fast approaching and I’m overflowing with blog post ideas: December 21st and the ‘end of the world as we know it’; A possible explanation for my missing Farewell to 2011 post; My 2012 Wrap Up; What 2013 means to me; and many more. But right now, more than anything, I find myself ready for some peace of mind. If there is one thing I’ve done a lot of this year is THINK. I’ve analyzed EVERYTHING: the past, the present, the future, my behaviour, the behaviour of others, and supposed meanings in everything around me. It’s time for some quiet. So, I’m covering everything today. All these thoughts running rampant in my brain are coming out now. So, on with the show!
December 21st and the ‘end of the world as we know it’
Last week, on the drive to the airport it was the hot topic. To me, the big change is the shift in collective consciousness. Of course this is a shift that has been happening for decades and it will continue to shift for a few more decades. This year simply marked an acceleration. For the first time in the history of humanity as we know it there is a global network unlike any other. Almost 35% of the people on the planet have Internet access. Almost 85% of the global population is literate. Information is shared in a way it never has been before, through the Internet, television, radio and print media. And, even though much of this ‘information’ is insubstantial and as far as I see it, rubbish, I cannot deny that I’ve seen people who are trying. I see those who are making a difference in the world by helping others, by teaching, and by doing their part to make the world a better place. Those are the ones who give me hope. That is the collective shift that I am talking about. I see more and more like minded people making connections and working together for common goals. It’s exciting and encouraging.
My missing ‘Farewell to 2011’ post
By December 2011 I’d been going to a psychotherapist for a little over a month. After an unnerving end to an unhealthy relationship I realized that I was at a point where I had to figure out how I’d reached a point in my life where I felt it was acceptable for me to deem myself unworthy of, well, more. When the time came to write my end of year post, all I would do was re-read my end of 2010 post and wonder where I went. A friend told me that I had already accomplished so much, just by standing up for myself and having the courage to try to understand my life and to change it. He was right, but at the time, I felt broken and unsure and quite frankly, terrified. I didn’t know whether or not I could do it. Changing a core belief from a negative one to a positive one after almost three decades of reinforcement seemed an insurmountable task. Looking back on it now, I would say that if there was anything at all I accomplished for 2011, it was that I took a hold of myself. I made ME my first priority and I knew for sure that no matter what was revealed to me and where my journey led, I wasn’t going to quit.
2012 Wrap Up
It’s fitting that this would be called a Wrap Up. Like they say in the film industry: “That’s a wrap!” It’s been one helluva year. A few weeks before my birthday in November I was talking to a friend and I said to him that I was as much as 90% happy with my life. I am surrounded by people who I genuinely care for and am genuinely cared for: a loving family and friends I respect and have so much fun with. I can afford to pay my bills and have enough to enjoy going out for dinner or meeting friends to share a bottle or two of wine. I made a commitment to myself to leave an unsatisfying job no matter what, and I reaffirmed my choice to make Luna Surya Studios a place for creativity and healing. I learned to love and respect myself in a way I never have before. I’ve come to an understanding about my history and I see all the potential that it has. I’ve learned to love all the shadowy corners of me and embrace all the light in me. I am truly grateful for my life and for all my gifts. At the very beginning of 2012 I remember saying that this was a year for change. This was to be a year to understand what was not healthy for me and to learn to let go. It was a year for improvement. It has been, with all the remarkable, painful, surprising and incredible lessons that such change brings with it. This has been, truly, an amazing year, and I am humbled with gratitude for having had it.
What 2013 means to me:
So here I am on the threshold of a new year and for once it really does feel like an ending and a beginning. I know that change will continue, as it is in life’s nature to do so. I’m OK with that. I am stronger than I’ve ever been I think and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think of POSSIBILITIES. My world is open. My future is open. 2012 was a year of soul searching, learning, lessons and revelations. I think for now, I can say that for 2013 my goal is to Be Present. I am grateful for the past, it is my teacher, and I look forward to the future, it is my destiny. But today, I’ll make another promise to myself: I’m going to enjoy my present. I’m going to spend time with those I love, enjoying the things that make me happy: books, food, laughing, flowers, body scrubs, being healthy, art, music, writing, photography, nature walks, and my Studio. I’m going to have fun, go crazy and embrace life in a way I haven’t before. I’m going to BE PRESENT. I’ve earned it.

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